Attacking the 100′ Woman

Many people have already brought up the many, many reasons an actual giantess cannot exist, but… if my blog is to be really complete, I think that means I have to touch on this as well.

Fortunately, this means all the really good research has already been done and all I have to do is summarize it here. (Why’d I choose a 100′-tall woman? To her, a man my size would be 4″ tall, and that’s my ideal height with a giantess.)

The first thing most people bring up is the “square/cube law”. This means that the volume of a 3-D object increases much more rapidly than its surface area as you enlarge it. People use the cube for a model: if you double it in all dimensions, it becomes twice as long, wide, and high, but its volume is now eight times what it was. So you can grow a 5’6″ woman to 100′ tall in appearances, but she shoots up from weighing 100 lbs. to just over 300 tons.

The Straight Dope also indicates the problem with the circulatory system, how much blood now has to be pumped through greater distances, simply to carry nutrients and oxygen at a similar rate. So maybe a giantess could have several hearts distributed throughout her body, but she still needs exponentially larger, denser bones to support all that flesh and muscle, not to mention her mass is producing much more heat than her surface area can dissipate. Even reaching out to swat a tiny explorer, Straight Dope suggests, would take enough energy and produce enough heat to require her to recuperate for hours in a pool.

Not only would a real giantess be confined to large bodies of water, like a whale or the Loch Ness Monster, but she would be grotesquely disproportional in contrast with our expectations of a huge, sexy goddess striding around imperiously.

If she could hold herself upright, every footstep of a 100′-tall woman weighing 300 tons would release 1.7 million joules of force, triggering just under a magnitude 1.5 earthquake on the surface of the land. If she ran, she’d be traveling at 175 mph, every stride reaching as long as she is tall, producing nearly magnitude 2 earthquakes as she went. You might notice that if you lived in the area: pictures and mirrors don’t fall off the wall until a magnitude 2.5 earthquake.

So there, that’s out of the way.


Image: “Those About to Die” by Loopydave

2 thoughts on “Attacking the 100′ Woman

  1. See, that’s why I don’t like disturbing my fantasies with the laws of reality. Now I’ll picture myself with brontosaurus cankles, every time I think of myself as a 200’ tall giantess. No fun.

    What I’ve spent some time pondering is the difficulty in keeping a real two-inch-tall man alive. What would he eat that he could digest? Would I suddenly have to seek out a membership to those raw food farmers’ associations, and place an order for mouse milk? What clothes could he possibly wear that will be comfortable for his extremely thin skin? Again, I’ll have to seek out a weavers cooperative, and see if they have any fabric woven by spiders. And most importantly, how do I pick him up without turning him into juice? Because he has to be picked up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve wondered the same thing… are my bones fine and hollow, like birds’s? How do I pack all this amazing cognition into a tiny little cerebellum? How much is really necessary for a sentient organism? Because cats are really clever and social, but they don’t have huge skulls.

      It goes without saying that magic (spells and potions, divine intervention) go a long way toward supplementing these logistics. I’ve also excused it away with the hard-science “quantum differential bubble”, a translator for relative physical properties, enabling me to not be crushed so casually and to intake enormous oxygen molecules. Only the best science for my stories, you see.

      Though… I wonder what a hard-science giantess/shrink story would even look like… Sometimes writers hint at aspects, cherry-picking the most interesting laws and effects for a good tale. Even the psychological aspect, the primal wiring that takes over when something enormous and toothy suddenly rushes at us and fills our vision, I’ve seen authors bring up totally reasonable things (that never would have occurred to me) to work into very interesting stories.

      Liked by 1 person

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