“You wanna go out for lunch?” The cute blonde poked her head around the painted steel jamb of Johnny’s door.
He felt the thrill of a pretty woman paying attention to him and let himself enjoy it. Closing his browser windows he accepted, with the caveat: “I didn’t bring anything. Can we hit a convenience store?”
The coworker flounced into his office, draped in a simple, cute sundress. “There’s something going on at the mall. Free food, I think. Wanna check it out?”
Unconsciously, Johnny glanced at his own gut beneath his baggy office shirt. “Sure… sure, yes. Let’s do that, it sounds fun!” The plastic wheels of his desk chair rasped with grit as he kicked away and they walked out of the building.
The sun was bright, the sky clear, and birds were singing: it was a picture-perfect summer day, not a thing more could be desired. People were walking up and down the mall in light clothing, smiling, chatting, soaking in the wonderful weather: the town had come out of a miserable, rainy week and now they were, as one, breathing a sigh of relief.
There was indeed something going on at the mall downtown. Buskers were stationed on the periphery, banging on six-gallon plastic buckets or struggling with a clarinet, trying to appeal to the throng that formed a dense shell around a nucleus. This was a touring tap-dance troupe, scuffing it up right there in the middle of the walkway. Johnny edged himself and his coworker up to a position with a view and they watched the performance, a promotional event for their weekend shows. They were quite talented, on the avant side, and demonstrating boundless energy. When the show was done, five late teens in matching t-shirts hustled to hand out complimentary hot dogs to anyone who cared for one, which turned out to be everyone.
“And so she’s complaining that she didn’t get any sleep,” the cute coworker explained, wiping mustard off her lip, “and so I’m like, ‘Well, why don’t you go to bed earlier?’ And she’s all, ‘But I have to be at the club in case Dave’s there!’ And I’m all, ‘But you hate him! Why do you care what he thinks?'” This led to how her friend didn’t actually hate Dave, but she could cite a dozen times she insisted her friend did, but there was an explanation for all that. Johnny nodded his head and fought with the tiny plastic packet of relish that seemed to have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed today.
Abruptly came a thrum of anti-noise, a pulse of quietus that muted his coworker, the clamor of the crowd, the avenues of nearby traffic. Johnny felt as though two hands had placed themselves upon his shoulders and gently but firmly shoved him forward. He nearly dropped his hot dog through numb fingers. Staring at his hands, he caught a pair of pink-and-white trainers in the corner of his vision. His head snapped up in alarm, just in time to glimpse a woman weaving into the crowd.
She wasn’t much to look at: faded jeans, purple hoodie. Average build, average height. Honey-brown hair pulled back in a black scrunchie. He only caught the side of her face, a plain eye over a cheekbone, a sparkling dot of an earring. In half a second she turned herself sideways, away from him, and slipped between two men in business suits. She was gone as though she’d never been there.
Sound returned to Johnny’s world. He gasped deeply and looked at his coworker in alarm. She looked freaked out as well. “Are you okay?” she cried.
“Yeah! What the hell was that?”
“You tell me! What happened? Did you choke?”
Johnny stared at her expression, then looked around at the milling noontime shoppers and business folk. No one seemed shaken up, they all gnawed at their free hot dogs and bumped into each other. His coworker’s concern wasn’t for an external event, only his own weird behavior.
“Yeah… choked.” He cleared his throat a couple times. “Better now. Sorry.” The coworker resumed her story and he mostly maintained eye contact with her, except for the occasional glance into the crowd. Once in a while he thought he picked out her ponytail, swaying for a moment before vanishing again, or else a flash of that shade of purple popped for a second in his range of sight, gone before he could track it.
“So she’s going out with him after all!” His coworker laughed, placing one soft and warm hand upon his forearm for emphasis. “Can you believe it? I swear, she’s fucking nuts.” Five minutes ago this slightly bold break into personal space would have sent goosebumps up his arm, but something was wrong now. Something else was going on, and Johnny couldn’t settle himself until−
“There!” He leaped to his feet. The crowd had naturally parted, in its chaotic ebb and flow, and he saw the woman in the hoodie a block away. No longer salmoning through churning bodies, she was leaning against a tree in a planter, bending over slightly to tug off one of her shoes, then the other.
His coworker was put out. “What, where? What are you talking about?” Her golden tresses flashed and sparkled as she made a show of tossing her head back and forth without any sincere interest in seeing anything. She remained seated as Johnny climbed upon the bench to get a better view.
The woman in the hoodie kicked her shoes to the side and straightened up. She appeared to take a deep breath, then another, and she clapped her palms together before her chest. Johnny narrowed his eyes, waiting to make sense of this, when suddenly the woman erupted.
Screams echoed off the glass buildings lining the mall, far from Johnny and his friend but growing closer as more and more people realized what was happening. Right away, all the woman’s clothing exploded off her body, burst to shreds by the sheer bulk of her rapidly expanding body. Her slender arms and legs thickened, elongated, grew in all directions. She was immediately nude but unconcerned: her face was pursed lips and clenched eyelids, easily visible as she rose far above the pedestrians’ heads and toward the sky. Her feet ballooned and shoved people out of the way; her hips brushed deep gouges into the buildings on either side of the market area. And everyone could see she didn’t shave her pubes: a dense, night-black thicket drew attention from her powerful, bare thighs.
The crowd surged and began to backflow up the mall, around Johnny and his coworker. The pretty blonde woman shrieked at a piercing pitch, but Johnny gripped her upper arms and shook her gently.
“I know what to do!” he yelled in her face. “Oh my God, this is my time!”
“What are you talking about? What the fuck is this?” she shouted over the destruction and panic.
But he knew. The browser windows he closed when she got him were full of this kind of thing. Johnny wrote size-porn, and he read it voraciously. Giant women caused by aliens, science experiments, potions and curses, what-have-you: this was Johnny’s realm, his wheelhouse. There was no one else as qualified as him, he knew, to cope with this emergency.
“Just stay here, I know what to do!” Resisting the urge to embrace his pretty coworker and lock a hot, hard kiss onto her jaws, he turned toward the towering giantess and waved his arms. “Goddess!” he called up to her. “Grant your devoted servant audience!”
The gargantuan nude slowly turned her head downward, her eyes very likely sweeping the street for him.
“Oh, my blessed Goddess!” Johnny was smiling so hard, his face hurt. After a lifetime of aching desire for the impossible, his dearest dream was reified before him. He couldn’t believe he was here, that this was happening.
“You are such a fucking freak,” muttered his coworker.
He only grinned at her, then turned back to the titanic woman. “My Goddess, please, take me in your hand and allow me to assist you in any way! You can’t imagine how long I’ve waited for you!” His heart was pounding, and there was a tiny wet spot in his underwear, but he didn’t mind. He was happier than he’d ever been in his life.
The giantess slowly raised her bare foot into the air, casting Johnny, his coworker, and any stragglers into shadow. His coworker shrieked and leaped up, too late, to flee up the mall.
“What,” said Johnny.
The massive foot descended upon him, driving all the benches, trees, and slower pedestrians several feet beneath the pavement. And then, over the next hour, the giantess thoroughly destroyed the city.