This article first appeared in The Nose magazine, a humor/news periodical that ran from 1989 to 1995, published in Los Angeles. I’ve made every attempt to contact the author and the founders to gain permission to reprint this piece. The author’s representatives said that ownership of the article was unclear; the founders of the magazine have not responded to my inquiries.

So, fuck it. I’m not profiting off sharing this, and the Size Fantasy community deserves to have access to it.

Author: Patton Oswalt; published in The Nose, vol. 26, January/February 1995 [download as PDF]

So what do you like? Tall women? Is sex just cold oatmeal to you unless it involves physical domination—muscular Amazons overpowering you, using you as their sexual plaything, stomping you to a pulp? Are these the unattainable Maltese Falcons of your one-fisted fantasies?

Ed Lundt would answer an emphatic “yes” to all of the above. Lundt is the creator and publisher of Giantess!, an innovative and fiercely unique collection of printed erotica. First published in 1988, Giantess!, put simply, is about men having sex with giant women. “Giant” as in “colossal”—the shortest woman featured in the magazine’s four existing issues is 12’6”—with the tallest being more than 100 feet. And after only four issues, Giantess! has an international mailing list of over 4,000, with reader response that borders on the psychotic. All from the single-handed efforts of a 34-year-old New Jersey native who stayed true to his fantasies, and thought big.

“Maybe there’d be a cartoon depicting ‘liberty’ as a giant or a religious painting showing a huge Madonna,” muses Lundt. “These guys become great archivists as far as this subject is concerned.” He even points to Heinrich Kley, a turn-of-the-century artist whose bizarre illustrations often involved toy-sized men in the hands of their outsized mates. (Ed traces his own Amazon fixation back to reading Alice in Wonderland as a teenager, and fondly recalls an episode of Superfriends where Wonder Woman sprouted—alas, fully dressed—into a giantess.)

Lundt, however, had no time or patience for this catch-as-catch-can style of self-gratification. “I put my time into this business creating it, not looking for it.”

What a business it is, and—excuse the pun—a growing business, too. In addition to Giantess!, E.L. Publications, named for its creator’s initials, boasts picture-card sets, non-illustrated and illustrated “special editions” and a two-part novel called Growing!

“Everything I do—drawing and writing—is seen. For years, giantessophiles have had to hire private artists to meet their needs, according to their specifications and within their fiscal means.” So huge, never-seen collections are out there? “Oh sure, it’s out there, all right.”

Yet for someone who has essentially created a new form of erotica, galvanizing a long-dormant fetish and bringing to light such a formerly silent obsession, Ed remains level-headed.

But with members in such diverse places as Uruguay, Turkey, Israel, Venezuela, Japan, Australia, Holland and Norway, Lundt’s readers are a passionate bunch. Most of the stories that appear in Giantess! And other E.L. Publications are contributed by readers. Giantess erotica should not be in the hands of the merely curious.

Lundt is vague about his past, especially how he built a steady readership around such a specific subject.

“If I were to tell you exactly what it was I did to get the magazine going, then the few other giantess publications that are starting up out there—or attempting to start up—are going to take away what little business I have.”

The few others he knows of are Squish, featuring women of skyscraper proportions (“monstrospanacious,” a word coined by Lundt to describe women who are huge even by his standards) who “step on men like ants,” and Giantess Show, a fanzine which he has yet to see. Like “Deep Throat” on The X-Files, Lundt has advised both Squish and Show, but will give no clear and easy answers.

Add to this the wildly varying ingredients of the fetish—each desperately important depending upon the reader. Fat women, muscular women, thin-yet-voluptuous, foot-stomping, lactation, leg scissors, growth descriptions, vatinal insertion, even homoerotic undertones—and you get the idea of the juggling Lundt does to satisfy his demographic. “Each of these categories stands alone, but there are a lot of guys who are . . . omnivorous. If there’s a film or text about the assembly of the M16 rifle, and it’s a giant woman showing you how to do it, they’re interested.”

Finicky readership may have already killed the multi-story Giantess! magazine. Not that Lundt’s complaining. “Guys are willing to pay as much for a full-length, single illustrated story as they would an issue of the magazine [$22], as long as the story covers their singular area of interest.”

Giantessophiles also have their own vernacular, a necessary patois based on different areas of the fetish. A “crush fetish” is a fantasy about being stepped on by a woman. Although crushing usually occurs underfoot, it also gets done by breasts (smothered, squeezed between), vaginal muscles, hands, buttocks and thighs—a favorite, especially among men who like muscular women.

Ed points with pride to Los Angeles filmmaker Jeff Valencia, whose short films feature high-heeled women stepping on grapes, bugs and the like. “One of them even won an Academy Award,” says Ed. “I guess they thought it was arty.” Valencia is responsible for the quote that best sums up the “crush fetish,” and possibly giantessophilism as a whole: “The feeling is that of letting go, powerless, helpless, tiny, small and buglike. Wanting to see a female crush something with her foot, longing to be a helpless insect as you squirm around under her foot sole as she squishes your body into grease.”

Besides the crush fetish there is “crunch and munch,” which involves both being crushed and then used as a dildo. Vaginal insertion usually leads to orgasm on the part of the oversized female, the man brought to climax by the feeling of her all-encompassing, violently vibrating pussy walls.

Here are the basic food groups. The sauces and garnishes depend on the writer.

The Supernatural

Human titans cannot, in reality, exist. To find out the actual medical reasons why, I planned to interview an osteopath for this article, but Lundt proved more than knowledgeable on the subject. Gigantism is an impossibility due to a ‘combination of different-sized atoms,’ lung efficiency and bone-load capacity versus body and muscle weight.

Fortunately, the writers “find ways around the medical impossibility,” explains the Emile Zola of Brobdingnagian porn. Indeed they do. Magic potions, gypsy curses, alien worlds, enchanted amulets, synthetically enhanced cow’s milk; even a genie makes an appearance. These story devices are used to either grow the woman, or more often than not, shrink the man. Pills and “formulas” are also used, as well as a “wet nurse” whose breast milk shrinks any man who dares drink it.

Female Growth

Squashed!

The word “squashed” appears in every piece of E.L. Publications literature, usually as part of the phrase “squashed like a bug.” Men are forever being crushed by their oversized mates’ muscular thighs, colossal breasts and punishing feet. Many of the giantesses wear high-heeled shoes.

“Giantess erotica encompasses almost every other fetish, just blown up to massive proportions,” assures Lundt. “If you’re a foot fetishist, leg man, big boob fan—it’s all here. Some guys like fat women. In Giantess! they’re as big as mountains!” Lundt is a true erotic frontiersman. In one story, a muscular giantess even sprouts a huge penis and promptly uses it on her less-than-receptive mate. Of course, this is giantess country, so he is soon subdued and compliant.

Near-Death and Death

In this age of cynicism, bipartisanship and personal cowardice, it’s refreshing to find a group of people willing to die for what they love. The possibility of death at the hands (or vaginal muscles) of an over-enthusiastic giantess is always a possibility at E.L. Publications. Not that any of the male characters would mind—they’re more than willing to become slaves, toys, pets or victims of their huge lovemates. In one story, a man is actually absorbed into the flesh of his girlfriend, aiding her growth. Other men are put on leashes, treated like babies, pummeled, stepped on and killed, smothered in body fat or drowned in breast milk. One way or another, almost all the male protagonists’ lives are forever changed, and they are never able to return to the normal world.

Recently, a low-budget pornie called Attack of the 50-Foot Hooker was released, but Lundt gives it the thumbs down. “The girl was too skinny, not too pretty, and there’s only implied vaginal insertion.” He has better hopes for the recently rumored Assault of the 60-Foot Centerfold, to be directed by cult fave Fred Olen Ray.

As for himself, Ed looks forward to working on more mainstream projects, explaining, “There just aren’t the numbers for giant women.”

Has he always gone out with women much taller than himself, and how tall is his current girlfriend? “I’m actually married. She’s shorter than me, but she’s a wonderful woman. I love her very much.”

And what about having to face a future where your true fantasy will forever remain just that—a fantasy? Here’s what the unsinkable Ed Lundt shows why he wasn’t just born to be a giantessophile, but also the fetish’s point man:

“I see it happening, in the future, in cyberspace. I once heard it said that the psyche doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and unreal, it just wants to experience. So anything is possible in the world of fantasy.”

So shimmy into your VR helmets, giantessomaniacs. Prepare yourselves for the squeeze of mighty legs, a haughty, hungry laugh echoing high above you. Lund and his giant females are poised to enter the one frontier we have left, whether or not the door is big enough.