Oh, the Jobs I’ve Had

Do you enjoy your job?

I enjoy my current position. I complain about it a lot, because I’m doing a few other people’s jobs with no increase in status or pay, but that’s how it is. Our society doesn’t value education, so my job routinely suffers setbacks and obstacles, and to stay afloat much is asked of us without compensation. This is one more reason why capitalism must be eradicated.

At the same time, they keep me on and teach me different things because they think I’m smart. I’ve learned programs and tasks far outside of my wheelhouse, which would look great on a resume if I were looking for different work. But there are advantages to staying here, like pretty good insurance and a pension, if I last that long.

I’ve been at my current position longer than anywhere else, as of next month. That would be eight years; the prior record-holder was the military, at a combined total of three years active duty, four years Nat’l Guard. (Please don’t say “thank you for your service,” because if you’re sincere, it means you don’t understand our nation’s history and how our government works; if not, you’re being a sarcastic little jackass who feels insecure for no good reason. Nobody’s impressed with you, and your mouth will land you in the hospital soon.)

When I moved to Minneapolis, I had a ton of great jobs at my disposal. I was a temp, and I had the advantage of typing over 90wpm at 98% accuracy, plus intense curiosity. At any new position, I would look up the programs on my computer, teach myself the to an intermediate level, then add them to my resume. I quickly acquired skills and increased my paycheck. I worked in a diversity of positions (psychology, construction, child education, investment consulting, the White Pages, etc.), in nearly every building in downtown, and I had the luxury of turning down work.

Then George W. Bush stole the presidency in a rigged election in 2000 and, almost overnight, all the jobs went away. I would call temp agencies and ask for an interview, and this defeated voice on the other end of the phone would tell me not to bother, they were about to close in two weeks anyway. Republicans and conservatives are only a detrimental force, deeply invested in people’s suffering. They are demons in flesh, toxic to all they touch. (Mind you, Democrats are for sale and liberals prefer petty in-fighting to progress. It’s a shit world.)

Those were some lean times. I took up some crappy jobs that had nothing to do with my skill set, in one case guiding cars into a parking lot with a little day-glo orange vinyl flag. One coworker had all sorts of advice for me because he’d been doing it for ten years, but I knocked his socks off with a little twirl of the flag I added to attract drivers’ attention.

Eventually I took out a couple loans and returned to school. I was only a few credits shy when I met my wife, who could not be with an unlettered man, and I wrapped up my BA in Creative Writing. One course I took was a highly influential editing class, so I pursued this as a career, teaching myself along the way, rising through marketing agencies until I ended up working for a college. So this job also represents the culmination of a career, where I’ve been allowed to pursue my interests and refine my skills through conferences and online courses.

Sure, I like my job.

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