Aborigen

I didn’t think I’d make it out to this SizeCon. Not everyone can make every SizeCon, that’s fine. Readers of this blog will be familiar with my disenchantment with the Size scene; readers of my entire life will have picked up on a persistent sense of aggrievement that I’ve identified and am trying to work past. Childhood issues, I’m guessing.

But I went last weekend. I heard a number of my online friends, members of the Size community, were going to go for their first time and, dammit, I couldn’t miss that. At nearly the last possible second I registered, got a hotel room, and purchased tickets for the Empire Builder—my first train ride. You know how people are: as soon as you tell them you’re riding the train, they reflexively respond with all their horror stories, firsthand and heard elsewhere.

They do the same thing if you tell them you’re going to Portland.

But all of that went fine. I journeyed to the Giantess’s Glade, set up some offerings around the stone bowl, prayed for safe passage, and lo, I was safe.

It was a lovely train ride, though my notions of train travel were badly misinformed. I anticipated the polished rosewood panels and brass fittings more appropriate to an Agatha Christie novel. What I got was a glorified bus, but with wider seats that lean way back, greater leg room, and a cafe for snacks and beverages. Even two outlets by my seat, to recharge my phone and headphones and plug in my CPAP over night. I didn’t bring a blanket, as recommended, but my field jacket worked well enough.

With 38 hours to kill—14 of which were spent sleeping—I plunged into my studies, catching up on Davidson’s Gods and Myths of Northern Europe for class and McKinnell’s Meeting the Other in Norse Myth and Legend for fun. Took great delight in comparing each book’s retelling and interpretation of Gunnars þáttr helmings (“short story of Gunnar Helmings”), which only whetted my need to get as close to the original texts as possible. Not that I’m going to learn Icelandic any time soon.

There were a couple moments of conversation, during which people asked what I do and, more pertinent, where I was headed. I handled these situations in different ways: the retired lawyer with whom I had dinner learned that I write fetish porn, and I sent him to my introductory page. On the other hand, the woman seated across from me was given to understand that I’m a scholar of Scandinavian myth, and from that she projected that I was presenting a thesis for a conference. I did not disabuse her of the notion, and I gave her a runecasting to distract further inquiry.

I arrived at Union Depot after two days, caught a Lyft out to my hotel, which was a 15-minute walk from the hotel where SizeCon was held. I took my time ritually cleaning myself, got dressed, and walked on out to the conference. Portland was seeing some lovely weather this weekend and it was a nice stroll. At the hotel I picked up my lanyard, started making hellos to people I recognized (after two years), and trotted around the grounds looking for friends.

I sat in on the Transformation session, listening to fans discuss their experiences, then raised my hand and shared a thought that clearly indicated I had absolutely no comprehension of what was being discussed. This little stunt haunted me in my quiet moments for the rest of the weekend.

It got better after that, though. I touched base at Taedis’s booth and soon connected with Olo and Solomon G, friends I’ve known online for years but only met at their first SizeCon.

With everything going on at the convention, all the sessions and activities, three days isn’t enough to connect with everyone you want to see and spend time with, and I was only there for two days. You do the best you can, though, hitting a couple of the most-important sessions to you, seeking out your connections and grabbing conversation where you can.

I was able to buttonhole Jason Ninja, catch up, and form plans. He is a grounding influence and an insightful source of insider information.

Tail-Blazer gave me a tour of his thoughtful, tranquil watercolors, I expressed my love of Nyuru, and we thought we should make plans.

When Irene Silver heard of the plans I was making, she insisted we make some of our own, sealed with one of the choicest hugs this side of the Pecos.

It’s up to me to act on these. This is my game to win or throw away. Let 2025 be different from all years previous, in this respect.

Addie Smith may have been my first hug of the Con. I was very excited to meet Bert of Ed ‘n’ Em. I didn’t get enough time to chat with SizePlay. Very pleased to see Matthew Huntley’s impressive stand in full effect. Got to express my appreciation for Beth Bennett, who I’ve been following forever. Honored and delighted to meet Jessa Flux for a long conversation—she even let me give her a runecasting. And I got to reconnect with tinysupervicki, which I always value because she is a delight to behold. How many people can say they met Paramouth Pictures several times within ten minutes? I can. I shared a “hey, again” with Kat, who I sat across from at SizeCon two years ago. Olo, Taedis, Solomon G, and I learned about Size News Global’s ambitious plans for the future (patience, young Jedi). Expandinator listened to my pipe-dreams of someday Blender adequacy. eddiegiantman reminded me of his favorite episode of zHeightgeist. I even got to wave at Abigail Jacqueline Jones, Astra Ebonwing, and Astro Domina in passing.

And at long last, I got to spend a little time with Giantess Twin Peaks. She found my work at the start of her career as a giantess, then found me and told me about it, and that means the world to me. Can you imagine? That’s an incredible life experience. It’s icing on the cake that she’s a huge sweetheart.

More drinks with Taedis, Solomon G, and Olo, over which I taught them just about everything I know about Scandinavian myth, analysis of the Prose Edda, and heathen Norse giantess-worship cults. I apologized several times for dominating the conversation, but Olo suggested it had some worth so I was unstoppable and began to induct them into the mysteries of my own giantess-worship revival, Gýgratrú. I guess if there’s any time to geek out over such substance, it would be SizeCon.

There were many more encounters and a few more conversations. They’ll come back to me as soon as I publish this post, or when I’m lying awake in bed. There were also many people I would have liked to get some time with, but what can you do? You just try your best and not have too many regrets when it’s time to go home.

Some of my regrets are who I didn’t get to say “bye” to, Saturday night.

On the ride back I was seated to dinner with a nice Amish family with an adorable three-month-old girl who’s trying to learn to stand as soon as she can. We broke the ice over the fact that we all ordered the cheesecake, which was freakin’ amazing, then traded goofy stories about growing up. Later, the patriarch of the family and I bonded over my CPAP, as he wasn’t sure he could have brought his and his sleep has been inadequate for over a week.

The Empire Builder pulled into Saint Paul a little early at 8:20 a.m. To let my wife sleep in, I hailed a Lyft from an enthusiastic man who expressed high distress about what the current presidential administration was doing to the fundamental infrastructure of our nation. He also had some great advice on how to make it big in Nigeria: simply start a business there with half a million dollars in capital, outsource your resources from China, one thing leads to another, and within a year you’ve got more money than you know what to do with, if you’re still alive. Why doesn’t everyone do this? He assured me he was working on it.

And now I’m home, I’ve written this, I’ve caught up on my Size Bluesky timeline, a snowstorm has blown in, and now I’m going to spend some time with my wife. Best of luck to all of you, and thank-you to everyone who made this a remarkable weekend.