Hey, how’s everyone doing in the apocalypse? I just mixed up a large ginger/whiskey (my second, acid reflux be damned) and am settling down to write a commission about a voluptuous, middle-aged woman fucking herself senseless with a tiny man. “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.”

So, yeah, lots of things going on lately. I was the first person in my office to start working from home. I was surprised there was no pushback on this, but then the entire city followed suit. As of this afternoon, all restaurants and bars are (or should be) closed to in-house dining. My favorite butcher, ramen shop, and pizzeria all offer curbside take-out.

It surprises me that conservatives are branding a documented pandemic as “liberal fake news.” They did that with the climate crisis, pretending that glaciers weren’t melting or insisting that extreme record-breaking events were “cyclical,” so I wonder what it is about conservatism that requires an antagonistic relationship with education and reality. Me, I’m not taking any chances: we have a niece flying in from Europe and a father-in-law who’s immunocompromised, so we’re holing up. My brilliant and beautiful wife has been anticipating a crash, so we’ve stocked up with food and medical supplies, and everything she planned on is coming to pass. Now we’re comfortable and having to take care of people who didn’t take her warnings seriously (she planned for that, too). It’s just booze, tabletop games, and streaming TV series from here on out.

What else, what else… well, if you’ve been paying attention on Twitter, I’ve recently compromised my hard line against Amazon. They’re evil in many ways, new ways all the time, but I finally bit the bullet and started a self-pub account with Kindle Direct Publishing. My wife suggested I try this for a year, “just to see,” and with everyone holing up in their homes and needing pervy Size fetish material to read, who am I to deny them. It was slow-going at first, with only one sale on the first day and two days of nothingness. I told myself I just had to wait it out, stop checking in, go find something better to do, and then I looked again today.

Someone bought one of everything I have up for sale, and I uploaded all six of the titles I’d previously been selling on Smashwords. That’s exciting to see! Fellow Size author Sophia Thornton checked in with me and shared some valuable self-pub strategy, so I’m planning more stories to move in this new market. Not too frequently, once a week at most, but this could be a fun venture.

Find my stories on Amazon now, and you can review me there or on Goodreads. Reviews would be awesome. I have one review on Google Books, and I didn’t even know people went there. (Yes, Google Play offers two of my books at a discount. I don’t know why.)